January
The beginning of the year saw Rita Ora lambasted for showing too much cleavage on The One Show (as reported by the same publications that routinely publish entire articles about cleavage). Nigel Farage made a boob of himself by demanding that breastfeeding mums should sit in the corner, and the Sun succumbed to the No More Page 3 campaign with all the grace of a toddler throwing a screaming tantrum.
February
The trailer for Magic Mike XXL gave columnists the opportunity to declare that “men are now objectified more than women”. Feminists might have responded with any one of a million recent examples suggesting otherwise, had they been able to stop laughing long enough.
March
Rachel Reeves threw the world into confusion and disarray when she said she would keep her ministerial job if Labour were elected, despite being pregnant. MPs fretted that she wouldn’t be able to give the job her “full attention” and columnists accused the “stupid woman” of treating motherhood like “a hobby” (unlike all those multitasking professional fathers).
April
As the general election approached, the media decided the best way to critique female politicians’ policies was to Photoshop their heads onto scantily clad models, create cartoons of their cleavage and devote more column inches to their shoes than their views. Strangely, their male colleagues’ wardrobes went largely undiscussed.
May
EA Sports announced it would be adding women’s teams to its new Fifa video game and the male gamosphere went into a blind panic. Comments ranged from: “Don’t break my balls with this bullshit,” to the totally proportionate: “Women have ruined the earth and now they are ruining Fifa.”
June
June saw football frenzy continue with the advent of the Women’s World Cup, or, as I like to call it, the World Cup. The England team reached the semi-finals, despite patronising twaddle such as the FA tweeting “Our Lionesses go back to being mothers, partners and daughters today…” and one national newspaper column declaring: “A woman’s place is not on a foreign field playing second-rate football.”
July
Serena Williams triumphed at Wimbledon, overcoming not only her opponents but also a wave of sexist and racist commentary. Meanwhile, US Glamour magazine published a mind-blowingly patronising article entitled: “13 Little Things That Can Make a Man Fall Hard for You”, including such gems as opening the door naked and letting him “solve your petty work problem”.
August
“Not doing enough housework is ‘making women fat’,” proclaimed the Daily Mail, in an ingenious headline that managed to both put women down and put them in their place at the very same time.
September
As Jeremy Corbyn became Labour leader, appointing Diane Abbott shadow secretary of state for international development, sexist jibes focused on their past relationship. As one Twitter user succinctly pointed out, “Abbott’s been WAY more famous than Corbyn the last 20 years but nobody’s suggesting HE shagged his way to prominence.” Meanwhile, lawyer Charlotte Proudman was labelled a feminazi for outing sexist behaviour on LinkedIn.
October
The Spectator chose to proclaim feminism dead a mere three days before Feminism in London, the largest feminist conference in the capital with over 1,000 attendees. #Awkward
November
George Osborne mistook women for kittens when he tried to distract them from the fact that he wouldn’t axe the sexist tampon tax by dangling rape counselling services in front of them at the same time.
December
From a “Rape us now” sale slogan, to seasonal safety campaigns encouraging women to “know your limits”, festive rape jokes and victim-blaming are already afoot. We’re waiting for the “Don’t rape” campaign that tells men to stay in well-lit areas, so lots of people can see them if they begin to act inappropriately, or to have a designated driver, who can make them leave immediately if they start harassing someone.