On Friday, Donald Trump signed an executive order intended to roll back Dodd-Frank, the sprawling regulatory framework President Obama signed into law in 2010 to avoid another financial crisis, which was not entirely beloved on Wall Street. He also scrapped a fiduciary rule intended to protect retirees by forcing brokers and advisers to “work in the best interest of their clients.“ (This, too, was controversial.)

According to its defenders, Dodd-Frank has been a modestly successful, if tortuous affair, requiring banks to bend over backwards to comply with regulations that protect investors and consumers from abusive practices and excessive risk. According to Trump, it was inconveniencing his friends:

“There is nobody better to tell me about Dodd-Frank than [JP Morgan C.E.O.] Jamie [Dimon]. So he has to tell me about it, but we expect to be cutting a lot from Dodd-Frank because, frankly, I have so many people, friends of mine, that have nice businesses, they can’t borrow money,” Trump said Friday morning, shortly before signing the executive orders. “They just can’t get any money because the banks just won’t let them borrow because of the rules and regulations in Dodd-Frank.”

And here’s how Gary Cohn, Goldman Sachs president turned White House National Economic Council Director made the case for getting rid of the fiduciary rule unveiled last spring:

“We think it is a bad rule. It is a bad rule for consumers. This is like putting only healthy food on the menu, because unhealthy food tastes good but you still shouldn’t eat it because you might die younger.”

That is literally the greatest analogy we’ve ever heard, and we challenge Cohn and the Trump administration to top it. (In fact, the only way they could is if Cohn appeared on Meet the Press on Sunday and said, “The fiduciary rule is like only putting out vape pens at a party, because crystal meth feels good but you still shouldn’t smoke it because you might die younger.” Let the consumer have their meth! How could more choice be bad, in an industry defined by vast asymmetries of information between brokers and consumers?

Oh, and in case you were wondering: Elizabeth Warren is obviously pissed about all of this.

“Donald Trump talked a big game about Wall Street during his campaign—but as president, we're finding out whose side he's really on,” the Massachusetts senator said in a statement. “Today, after literally standing alongside big bank and hedge fund C.E.O.s, he announced two orders—one that will make it easier for investment advisers to cheat you out of your retirement savings, and another that will put two former Goldman Sachs executives in charge of gutting the rules that protect you from financial fraud and another economic meltdown.”

Warren, along with Senator Tammy Baldwin, also sent a letter to Gary Cohn telling him he ought to “recuse himself from decisions directly or indirectly related to Goldman Sachs.”

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Wall Street puts Trump on notice

Many business people who might not otherwise have voted for Trump because of his comments on Muslims, women, Mexico, disabled people, and more, were ultimately seduced by the idea of tax reform and other pro-growth policies. Strangely, Trump’s priorities in his first 14 days in office focused far more on exciting executive orders to keep out Mexicans and Muslims than boring policies to cut tax rates or close loopholes. Still, investors don’t want to judge the president too quickly, so they’re going to give him just over three months to prove he’s only floating his ultra-nationalist policies for yuks before getting down to the business of being pro-business. Per the Journal:

Mr. Trump’s election victory initially boosted stocks—the Dow Jones Industrial Average rose above its 20,000-point landmark in January—but markets have traded sideways over the past month. The next 100 days is seen as a crucial period for some investors to gauge whether the policy mix they want—all of the pro-business, none of the protectionist—will materialize.

“The next 100 days will be important to see what he will implement and how,” said Monica Defend, Pioneer Investments’s head of global asset-allocation research. Pioneer is betting the price of risky U.S. assets, such as equities, will continue to gain but has also increased allocations of gold as insurance against political turmoil.

Nicolò Carpaneda, investment director of the retail fixed-interest team at M&G Investments, believes money managers won’t have much patience and could suddenly decide to either jump in or sell off. “If you want a number, I’ll say 30 days instead of 100,” he said.

Presumably, his actions Friday regarding the wholesale nuking of Dodd-Frank will be seen as a step in the right direction, though the government revoking 100,000+ visas is not a great look.

Wells Fargo quants predict the outcome of the Super Bowl

Sorry Tom Brady fans:

Wells Fargo Asset Management’s Analytic Investors LLC, the Wall Street quant shop that has accurately predicted 10 of the last 13 Super Bowls against the point spread, says take the Atlanta Falcons and the three points over Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots.

On the bright side, perhaps we’ll get to see Trump, a noted Tom Brady fan, trot out some amazing “alternative facts” for why the Pats lost or, better yet, claim that they didn’t actually lose at all. We’re hoping voter fraud will play a role.

Ivanka Trump held a business ladies dinner

The First Daughter hosted a group of female C.E.O.s Thursday night to “solicit ideas on how to promote women in the work force and fight for issues like paid maternity leave.” Ivanka, you may recall, received a little blowback for discussing these topics—and how her father is a yuge, yuge proponent of them—at the Republican National Convention last summer after one of her former employees said that the Ivanka Trump clothing line didn’t actually offer any paid maternity leave. (A spokesperson for the company called the claims a “mischaracterization” and said their team offers paid leave, flexible work schedules, and unlimited vacation and sick days.)

Layoffs Watch: Deutsche Bank

It will probably not come as much of a surprise to anyone keeping up with the multi-billion dollar fines Deutsche has been paying left and right to hear that the German bank is going to have to ask a bunch of employees to clean out their desks. According to Bloomberg, C.E.O. John Cryan “is eliminating 9,000 jobs across the company to raise profitability and capital levels eroded by misconduct costs.” (Some of those notable instances of misconduct include peddling toxic mortgages and letting wealthy Russians launder $10 billion, both allegations that Deutsche settled with prosecutors.)

Team Trump now trusts the unemployment rate enough to take credit for it

That’s Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway apparently giving her boss credit for today’s US non-farm payrolls being up 227k in January versus the expected 175k, and unemployment rate now being at 4.8 percent. As a reminder, when he was campaigning for president, Donald Trump claimed the government’s official unemployment numbers were “phony” and that the true rate was as high as 42 percent.

Elsewhere!

The founders of Snapchat stand to make $5 billion each off their shares in the parent company Snap when it goes public in March (VF Hive)

...but analysts say Snap’s I.P.O. could be a flop (VF Hive)

Trump tells business titans: “There are some really exciting times ahead” (Business Insider)

Uber C.E.O. Travis Kalanick is ditching Donald Trump (VF Hive)

...but Elon Musk is not, for “the greater good” (VF Hive)

Newly relevant: “Three Ways to Protect Your 401(k) If Trump Kills the Fiduciary Rule” (Bloomberg)

“Jobs Report Justifies Yellen's Patience on Rate Hike Timing” (Bloomberg)

GoDaddy C.E.O. slams Trump’s immigration actions (CNBC)

“Bill Ford's Struggle to Stay Friends With Donald Trump” (W.S.J.)

Plus: “Donald Trump Versus the Wind” (VF Vanities)