In an era filled with media malpractice, sensationalism, accusations of “fake news,” and corresponding recriminations on both the left and the right, there is something to be said for the purposefully straightforward, often deliberately dry style of the Associated Press. Perhaps that is why the nonprofit news agency landed the most recent sit-down interview with President Donald Trump, who is in the midst of a sort of media blitz as he races to convince the American people he is living up to his campaign promises ahead of his 100th day in office.

The transcript of the interview, conducted last Friday and published over the weekend, is worth reading in full—ellipses, [sic] markers, “unintelligible” notations, and all. For those with less time, here are all the mind-bending highlights:

Donald Trump calls NATO “obsolete” because he didn’t know what NATO was

During the campaign, Trump [rattled the international community by repeatedly denigrating the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, the military alliance dedicated to defending its member states during the Cold War and beyond. In January, he declared it “obsolete”, arguing that it was an outdated institution that didn’t focus on terrorism.

Less than 100 days after he took office, and presumably after several lectures from German chancellor Angela Merkel, he changed his tune:

They had a quote from me that NATO's obsolete. But they didn't say why it was obsolete. I was on Wolf Blitzer, very fair interview, the first time I was ever asked about NATO, because I wasn't in government. People don't go around asking about NATO if I'm building a building in Manhattan, right? So they asked me, Wolf . . . asked me about NATO, and I said two things. NATO's obsolete—not knowing much about NATO, now I know a lot about NATO—NATO is obsolete, and I said, ‘And the reason it's obsolete is because of the fact they don't focus on terrorism.’ You know, back when they did NATO there was no such thing as terrorism.”

A couple things here are remarkable. First, Trump admits that he said things on the campaign trail about matters that he didn’t know anything about. Second, Trump claims that NATO didn’t focus on terrorism, which is entirely false. (NATO invoked Article 5, its provision for collective defense, on September 12, 2001.) Finally, there is the fact that the president of the United States thinks there was “no such thing as terrorism” until recently, which is too patently absurd to bother refuting here.

Donald Trump embroiders his meeting with Elijah Cummings

Earlier this month, Trump got into a strange sort of feud with Maryland Democratic Representative Elijah Cummings, whom Trump claimed had privately told him, “You will go down as one of the great presidents in the history of our country.” Cummings denied ever having said those words, telling CNN that he had merely told Trump that he could become a good president “if . . . IF . . . he took steps to truly represent ALL Americans rather than continuing on the divisive and harmful path he is currently on.” Weeks later, Trump apparently can’t get over the fact that Cummings might have been nicer to him in person, when the two sat down to discuss ways to cooperate on lowering drug prices, than he was later on television:

Trump: He said you will be the greatest president. He said you will be, in front of five, six people, he said you will be the greatest president in the history of this country.

A.P.: He disputed that slightly.

Trump: That's what he said. I mean, what can I tell you?

A.P: Yeah.

Trump: There's six people sitting here. What did he, what, what do you mean by slightly?

A.P.: He said, he said that he felt like you could be a great president if and then—

Trump: Well, he said, you'll be the greatest president in the history of, but you know what, I'll take that also, but that you could be. But he said, will be the greatest president but I would also accept the other. In other words, if you do your job, but I accept that. Then I watched him interviewed and it was like he never even was here.

Donald Trump doubles down on his F-35 claims

In his interview with the A.P., Trump had this to say about how he is personally saving taxpayers billions:

I saved $725 million on the 90 planes. Just 90. Now there are 3,000 planes that are going to be ordered. On 90 planes I saved $725 million. It's actually a little bit more than that, but it's $725 million. General Mattis, who had to sign the deal when it came to his office, said, “I've never seen anything like this in my life.” We went from a company that wanted more money for the planes to a company that cut. And the reason they cut—same planes, same everything—was because of me. I mean, because that's what I do.

This has been debunked: the Pentagon has asserted that it negotiated the lower costs for a 90-plane order with Lockheed Martin long before the election had occurred. But what’s stunning is that Trump one-upped his own claims for how much money he’s saved the country. Back in February, Press Secretary Sean Spicer claimed that he had saved $455 million, while Trump himself claimed he saved $600 million. (For the record, the Pentagon said it saved $500 million without Trump’s help.)

Donald Trump unsure what cable news shows he watches

At one point in the interview, when Trump had gone off-the-record, the A.P.’s White House correspondent, Julie Pace, said that Trump briefly mentioned watching CNN. Here’s what happened when he went back on the record:

Trump: O.K. The one thing I've learned to do that I never thought I had the ability to do. I don't watch CNN anymore.

A.P.: You just said you did.

Trump: No. No, I, if I'm passing it, what did I just say (inaudible)?

A.P.: You just said—

Trump: Where? Where?

A.P.: Two minutes ago.

Trump: No, they treat me so badly. No, I just said that. No, I, what'd I say, I stopped watching them. But I don't watch CNN anymore.

The Washington Post’s Ashley Parker and Robert Costa report otherwise, however. According to their most recent report, Trump watches Fox & Friends, Maria Bartiromo’s show on Fox Business, and CNBC's Squawk Box, but that TVs in the West Wing are tuned to CNN, Fox, Fox Business, and MSNBC—and that sources say he still watches Morning Joe, despite his many claims to the contrary (“The great secret of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is that Trump's war on the media is a phony one,” write Ben Schreckinger and Hadas Gold for Politico—“a reality show that keeps his supporters fired up and distracted while he woos the constituency that really matters: journalists.”)

Donald Trump is (unintelligible)

From Toronto Star reporter Daniel Dale:

Donald Trump says “somebody” put out his 100 day plan

AP: You did put out though, as a candidate, you put out a 100-day plan. Do you feel like you should be held accountable to that plan?

TRUMP: Somebody, yeah, somebody put out the concept of a hundred-day plan.

Yes, “somebody” did indeed put out Trump’s 100 day plan: himself.

Trump immediately forgets how many missiles he fired at Syria

When asked if assuming the office had changed him, Trump admitted that he “never realized how big it was” before he became president but only realized now that “there’s great responsibility.”

“When it came time to, as an example, send out the 59 missiles, the Tomahawks in Syria. I'm saying to myself, ‘You know, this is more than just like, 79 (sic) missiles.’“ (Great responsibility, it seems, does not apply to remembering numbers.)

Trump says border wall will actually be much cheaper, unless he does a “super duper”

Despite estimates suggesting Trump’s proposed wall along the U.S.-Mexico border would cost north of $20 billion, the president—who likes to think he knows a thing or two about cost overruns—says otherwise. When asked why the wall was so expensive, and whether he would refuse to sign an omnibus spending bill that did not contain funding for the wall, Trump was adamant about correcting the record. ”One hundred percent it's getting built. And it's also getting built for much less money—I hope you get this—than these people are estimating,” he said. ”The opponents are talking $25 billion for the wall. It's not going to cost anywhere near that.” In fact, he promised that it would cost only $10 billion—that is, unless ”I do a super-duper, higher, better, better security, everything else, maybe it goes a little bit more.”

It is unclear what a “super-duper” is, but we can’t wait to find out.

Trump falsely says he didn‘t know what WikiLeaks was until 2016

Trump’s interview with the A.P. occurred on the day that the Justice Department announced it would prosecute Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, for leaking classified information, and was seeking to find a way to arrest him. Assange’s website had published several classified emails, hacked from the D.N.C. and the Clinton campaign, which contained a wealth of unflattering exchanges that ultimately hurt Clinton’s campaign.

“[I] never heard of Wikileaks, never heard of it,” said Trump, who frequently cited the contents of the email dumps during his own campaign. “When Wikileaks came out, all I was just saying is, ‘Well, look at all this information here, this is pretty good stuff’ . . . No, I found it very interesting when I read this stuff and I said, ‘Wow.’ It was just a figure of speech. I said, ‘Well, look at this. It's good reading.’

“But that didn't mean that you supported what Assange is doing?” the A.P. asked.

“No, I don't support or unsupport,” Trump responded.

In fact, Trump discussed WikiLeaks during an interview in 2010, when he called the organization “disgraceful” and suggested that there should be a “death penalty” for publishing classified documents stolen by whistleblower Chelsea Manning, then known as Bradley.

Trump thought the press would start being nicer to him after the election

”I used to get great press,” Trump bemoaned, when asked whether he found any business skills that did not work for the presidency. Now that he is running the free world and not opening hotels, “I get the worst press. I get such dishonest reporting with the media. That's another thing that really has — I've never had anything like it before. It happened during the primaries, and I said, you know, when I won, I said, ‘Well the one thing good is now I'll get good press.’ And it got worse. (unintelligible) So that was one thing that a little bit of a surprise to me. I thought the press would become better, and it actually, in my opinion, got more nasty.”

Trump brags about best ratings since 9/11

One thing remains constant, however: Donald Trump sure loves his television ratings. He loves them so much, in fact, that he apparently didn’t think twice before comparing his own ratings to those that news shows received in the wake of the 9/11 attacks:

“On any, on air, (CBS "Face the Nation" host John) Dickerson had 5.2 million people. It's the highest for "Face the Nation" or as I call it, ‘Deface the Nation.’ It's the highest for ‘Deface the Nation’ since the World Trade Center,” Trump boasted. “Since the World Trade Center came down. It's a tremendous advantage.”